Monday, April 6, 2009

Including the kids

I thought it was about time to start writing about some of the special things we are considering doing to include the kids in the wedding.

Their biggest roles will be during the ceremony. Mr. B and I have decided against having attendants, so it will only be the 4 of us in front with the pastor. Originally I wanted Little A to walk me down the aisle. It was very special having my Father walk me down the aisle the first time and give me away. While I DO NOT want to take that from him, I also want to show that I am already independent of my parent's. Little A has said he wants to be the ring bearer though, so I will walk down on my own.

Miss G will of course be the flower girl. She is VERY excited about her role. I didn't want to do a traditional basket of flower petals, but I might need to just to keep the little princess content LOL.

During the ceremony we will acknowledge the fact that we are uniting not only as man & wife but as a family. I have found a few sample "vows" I thought I would share with you as well. We will take these two examples (and any others I might find along the way) when we meet with our pastor. Honestly I can't read thru them the whole way right now without getting teary eyed. Not sure how I will do in September.

Example #1
Pastor: "Before (Bride and Groom names) exchange their vows to each other, as husband and wife they have special vows to their children and their children to them. Not only are they entering into a covenant of 2 people but are uniting 2 families to one."
The Children are called forward to stand together.

Pastor:"This marriage is not just joining of (bride and groom); it is also the joining of (all children's names) as one Christian family. (Bride and Groom), do you promise to love (children's names) to nurture them and to protect them, to teach them and cherish them now and forever united by our Lord Jesus Christ?"
(Bride and groom) respond:" We do."

Pastor: (Children's Names) "Do you promise to love (bride and groom) as your parents, do you promise to respect them and cherish them now and forever as one family united by our Heavenly Father?"
Children Recite: "We Do"

Pastor: "(Bride Groom) have gifts for the children - as their wedding rings symbolize a reminder of how their love encircles them - these bracelets are a reminder to the children-that they are also encircled in a communion of divine love as a member of this family."
Groom places bracelets on the three oldest children. (Individually)

Bride places bracelet on youngest child.

As each bracelet is clasped, Pastor says: "Do you pledge yourself to Christ and (Child's name.) Bride/Groom say: "I do."

{source}

Example #2

Groom: “(children’s names), I want you to know that I dearly love your mother. We have become very good friends over the weeks and months and we have learned to love each other. As you have so graciously shared this wonderful woman with me, so will I share the love I feel for her with you.

Together, we will learn much more about each other. I promise also to be fair and to be honest, to be available for you as I am for your mom, and in due time, to earn your love, respect and true friendship. I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone. I will be father and friend, and I will cherish my life with all of you. On this day when I marry your mom, I marry you, and I promise to love and support you as my own.”

Bride: “(children’s names), I want you to know that I dearly love your father. We have become very good friends over the weeks and months and we have learned to love each other. As you have so graciously shared this wonderful man with me, so will I share the love I feel for him with both of you. Together, we will learn much more about each other.

I promise also to be fair and to be honest, to be available for you as I am for your dad, and in due time, to earn your love, respect and true friendship. I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone. I will be mother and friend, and I will cherish my life with both of you. On this day when I marry your dad, I marry you, and I promise to love and support you as my own.”

The bride and groom’s children then responded to the following vows when read by the pastor:

(Children’s names), do you promise to love your mother and her new husband?

Children respond: “I do.”

pastor:Do you promise to support their marriage and your new family?

Children respond: “I do.”

pastor: Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them, support them, and accept them just as our heavenly Father accepts us?

Children respond: “I do.”

pastor:(Children’ names), do you promise to love your father and his new wife?

Children respond: “I do.”

pastor: Do you promise to support their marriage and your new family?

Children respond: “I do.”

pastor: Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them, support them, and accept them just as our heavenly Father accepts us?

Children respond: “I do.”

{source}

In both the examples both the bride & groom had children. Our wording will be altered slightly since this isn't the case in our family.

I have also been researching doing a sand ceremony.

{source}

Step1
Just prior to the ceremony, fill each of the vases with one color of sand and leave the center vase empty.

Step2
Father or Groom pours a portion of his sand into the center vase

Step3
Mother or Bride pours a portion of her sand into the center vase

Step4
Each child pours all their sand into the center vase

Step5
Father and Mother pours the rest of their sand into the center vase simultaneously

I haven't found wording to go along with this yet, so this is a maybe. I would also need to find a set of vases to use and colored sand.

The last option is a ceremony called The Family Medallion

{source}
The wording on the website is very simple:
(Presentation of the Family Medallion usually follows the pronouncement of the couple as husband and wife.)

INTRODUCTION: Often we think of a wedding as the union of two people. In reality, it is much broader. It is a coming together of families...

FAMILY MEDALLION PRESENTATION: Two merged circles often symbolize love. The Family Medallion has three circles to represent love that reaches out to include others...

PARENT'S PLEDGE: In presenting (this/these) Family Medallions(s), we pledge to you our continuing love...

FAMILY PRAYER: We give thanks, O Lord, for the relationship here celebrated. We are humbled by the recognition that today we face a new future, one where love is unfolding before our very eyes ... (prayer continues)

The family medallion could also be used with the first example of the vows. The medallion comes on necklaces, bracelets, key chains, label pins, rings ... so there are lots of options.

Last but not least, I am considering doing the "Father/Daughter" & "Mother/Son" dances and have Mr. B & I dance with the kids instead of our respective parent's. I have (again) already done the Father/Daughter dance with my Dad and Mr. B's mom isn't in the best of health and wouldn't physically be able to get up a dance. In my head this plan sounds like a good idea. I am just not sure it will work. We may just stick with Mr. B and I only doing our first dance and then just invite everyone out to party.

Are there any special ceremonies you are planning to include?







1 comment:

Sarah Ruth said...

I just found your blog today and you have so many amazing ideas! I am planning my wedding and my fiance has 3 daughters. I love the family vow ideas you posted on here. And the picture you put up for the sand ceremony is the exact vase set that my fiance and I are going to use!!

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